Change takes an instant.
Procrastination is what dooms you.
The Big Idea
We share a universal misconception that change is a slow process and takes time. The fact is that actual process of change takes an instant. One moment you are a smoker and the next moment it’s gone. Its the thinking about it that people spend a lifetime in.
Spotlight
I created a framework for change procrastination to help you understand this and overcome it. Here it is.
There are four reasons why change doesn’t happen. Each links to the other.
Security. The Preservation Zone: The primary motivator for all of human behaviour is self-preservation. We strive to create security, physically and emotionally. This primal instinct inhibits our ability to change. The status quo is known, it is uncomfortable and insecurity is attached to the ‘unknown’ aspect of change. So what do we do - Stay put and comfortable.
Inaction. The Contemplation Zone: The earliest stage of change is known as precontemplation. During the precontemplation stage, people are not considering a change. Then comes contemplation which essentially means to consider or think about something deeply. Guided by our intents of security and comfort, people in this stage can stay "in denial," and believe there is no problem.
Guilt. The Egotistical Zone: This may be a surprise to some people. Oftentimes people around us give us feedback on behaviour or better alternatives. Then over a period of time with some insight we may come to the same conclusion that there indeed is a better way. A lot of people are then faced with either the ‘guilt’ of not listening to advise and being an idiot — or ‘shame’ that if I make a change now, others will have the last laugh. Psychologically it becomes such a big barrier to cross that people choose not to change.
Negative Talk: Self Fulfilling Prophecy: Our inner dialogue, the thought process, that we use to speak to ourselves tends to be negative. The brain thinks of all the reasons “Why not” and we use pessimistic language for eg. ‘I can’t, It will not, Not a good time’ and so on. Well guess what — input determines output. The negative language produces a negative result and we stay where we are.
Action
If you’ve understood the reasons why you may struggle for change, you just need to invert the model to create the change. Here it is.
Choose Small Action Zone: Replace security with small risks and small actions. Don’t go after big changes. Don’t think about the end result. Just small steps for eg. Don’t think of losing 20kgs, think of walking 15 minutes a day. Don’t think of tying up thunk pieces to start your own business. Make your first investor deck, meet your first client.
Generate Frequency: Having created action generate frequency. Do it every day. Frequency always beats intensity. It is not about lifting heavy weights on your first day at the gym. It is about showing up everyday.
Embrace Humour: Replace guilt and shame with a laugh. See the funny side of life and laugh at yourself. Its easier and putting up with guilt and shame. You may have wasted a lot of time but there more life ahead than behind !
Be Nice to Yourself: Get rid of the negative chatter and talk well to yourself. Why wouldn’t you? It’s amazing how little we do this. Remember input = output. Think very carefully about what you feed your mind.
Final Tip
Change is not the problem
Procrastination is.
What you are resisting is not change.
You are resisting the effort.
Unleash Brilliance,
Chetan Walia
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